We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
