I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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