i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize