thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
