No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize