There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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