my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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