Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
