my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
