I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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