real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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