I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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