Yo dont text me then not text me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
These tits shall not be calmed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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