i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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