i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
where are you?
Hypothermia
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
