Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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