Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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