In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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