I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just google imaged poop.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
