Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
