I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
