..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
