does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
