I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
