And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
