NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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