apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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