By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
