I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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