i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
