Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
