Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
