i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
