Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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