My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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