Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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