Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
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Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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