And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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