i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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