Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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