Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
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I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize