Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
