I've blown a few things in my day
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize