Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers

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  (310): So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers http://tfl.nu/ezh2
  Replies (1) Good night (2112) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

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  (812): i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys. http://tfl.nu/wntn
  Replies (73) Good night (7683) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs

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  (773): I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs http://tfl.nu/cj7x
  Replies (29) Good night (4528) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there

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  (415): I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there http://tfl.nu/3k7t
  Replies (76) Good night (10041) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.

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  (313): I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god. http://tfl.nu/nh0e
  Replies (15) Good night (3250) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.

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  (509): I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good. http://tfl.nu/3e0k
  Replies (30) Good night (5196) Bad night (2039)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (5425) Bad night (1747)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro

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  (404): I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro http://tfl.nu/8m8i
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT

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  (205): My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT http://tfl.nu/uxt5
  Replies (11) Good night (735) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My breasts were aching with rage.

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  (502): My breasts were aching with rage. http://tfl.nu/o5ig
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.

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  (804): It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken. http://tfl.nu/miyk
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.

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  (865): I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism. http://tfl.nu/6eiy
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"

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  (204): There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother" http://tfl.nu/jq7b
  Replies (4) Good night (214) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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  (615): Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad http://tfl.nu/n2ij
  Replies (3) Good night (193) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(

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  (478): His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :( http://tfl.nu/p6a2
  Replies (3) Good night (168) Bad night (354)

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