ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
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Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.