Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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(559): View more from California

my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(509): View more from Washington

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Becoming a productive member of society?

(509): View more from Washington

Sam. Come on.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?

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(240): View more from Maryland

You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.

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