You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.