Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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