Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
