wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
