My liver just broke up with me...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
