last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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