Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
