Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
