I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They took my balls.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
