They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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