Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
