I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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