Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize