I just saw a hot homeless man
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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