Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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