Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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