Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Someone shit on the floor
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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