he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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