Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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