do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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