Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize